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Thursday, June 6, 2013


“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
– Alexander Graham Bell

This saying really hits me big time. Contemplating the totality of my life, I can say I’ve been a victim of my own fear and shame to have a serious and honest relationship. Being equipped with a clouded perception and memory-deletion mentality are not guarantees that persons who will barge in towards opposing walls, head on, ends up successful. It is not just about escaping and forgetting sad memories but learning from them, growing up amidst the consequences at hand.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”
- Herman Hesse

For too long already, I’ve been cautious to create a better impression towards a special person to win back the feeling I’ve been longing for too long but ended up empty handed. Continually clinging to the fact that “love is sweeter the second time around” (damn that saying), I change to a person I’m not. I became totally engrossed to this person that I lost my time usually reserve for myself as well as my friends. My gestures were interpreted wrongly and even tag as somebody I’m not. I even brag to my friends that I’ve moved on but it’s not really true. Donning on a mask for them not to worry and be involve. Then suddenly all things worsen. My academic performance went poorly that I didn’t give a damn on how will I perform or what will be my grades. Not even studying enough for my upcoming board examinations. Plainly my life is revolving around this person, who doesn’t even give a time to look at me or ask how I am doing; an egocentric fool, a cheat and a big waste of time.

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.”
– The Wonder Years

The moment I realize such, it was almost too late. What the hell did I do? Stupid me! My bad! Were the first lines that popped out from my head. I quickly pick up my pace and embrace such imperfections. REFLECTING at such critical times and PRAYING were the only things I did. I cried, not because of this person but on how did all these things happen. Consequences, beyond my grasp and somewhat outside the context of my understanding, were the result of my selfish actions.  Now it is time to make changes, renovations of my doings and reconnecting bridges to my real friends. I give up many things already but nothing seems to be working, maybe it was not meant to be. I somehow manage to surpass all those ordeals and manage to have a great outcome. It’s not really too late to fix things just have the heart to change and the will to carry on. And the rest, as they say it, were history.

“There’s no need to miss someone from your past- There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future”

It has been two years already and I’m a new person now. Such experience taught me to love oneself more and don’t engage on love out of simple attractions, lust or plain desires. Gauge your feelings wisely and learn to inhibit oneself as to not to get hurt thoroughly. Be yourself and have a strong support system. Choose someone with basis and love unconditionally.

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
– Albert Schweitzer

***Note: Originally posted on my old blog....


  1. I also pray for my day of moving on to something bigger would come... just keeping my fingers crossed :)

  2. That day will be coming soon doc... If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us. You deserved nothing but the BEST....