My Day of MOVING ON
“When one
door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for
us.”
– Alexander Graham Bell
This saying really hits me big time. Contemplating the totality of my
life, I can say I’ve been a victim of my own fear and shame to have a serious
and honest relationship. Being equipped with a clouded perception and
memory-deletion mentality are not guarantees that persons who will barge in
towards opposing walls, head on, ends up successful. It is not just about
escaping and forgetting sad memories but learning from them, growing up amidst
the consequences at hand.
“Some of us
think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”
- Herman Hesse
For too long already, I’ve been cautious to create a better impression
towards a special person to win back the feeling I’ve been longing for too long
but ended up empty handed. Continually clinging to the fact that “love is
sweeter the second time around” (damn that saying), I change to a person
I’m not. I became totally engrossed to this person that I lost my time usually
reserve for myself as well as my friends. My gestures were interpreted wrongly
and even tag as somebody I’m not. I even brag to my friends that I’ve moved on
but it’s not really true. Donning on a mask for them not to worry and be
involve. Then suddenly all things worsen. My academic performance went poorly
that I didn’t give a damn on how will I perform or what will be my grades. Not
even studying enough for my upcoming board examinations. Plainly my life is
revolving around this person, who doesn’t even give a time to look at me or ask
how I am doing; an egocentric fool, a cheat and a big waste of time.
“Change is
never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.”
– The Wonder Years
The moment I realize such, it was almost too late. What the hell did I
do? Stupid me! My bad! Were the first lines that popped out from my head. I
quickly pick up my pace and embrace such imperfections. REFLECTING at such
critical times and PRAYING were the only things I did. I cried, not because of
this person but on how did all these things happen. Consequences, beyond my
grasp and somewhat outside the context of my understanding, were the result of
my selfish actions. Now it is time to make changes, renovations of my
doings and reconnecting bridges to my real friends. I give up many things
already but nothing seems to be working, maybe it was not meant to be. I
somehow manage to surpass all those ordeals and manage to have a great outcome.
It’s not really too late to fix things just have the heart to change and the
will to carry on. And the rest, as they say it, were history.
“There’s no
need to miss someone from your past- There’s a reason they didn’t make it to
your future”
It has been two years already and I’m a new person now. Such experience
taught me to love oneself more and don’t engage on love out of simple attractions,
lust or plain desires. Gauge your feelings wisely and learn to inhibit oneself
as to not to get hurt thoroughly. Be yourself and have a strong support system.
Choose someone with basis and love unconditionally.
“In
everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into
flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be
thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
– Albert Schweitzer
***Note: Originally posted on my old
blog....
I also pray for my day of moving on to something bigger would come... just keeping my fingers crossed :)
ReplyDeleteThat day will be coming soon doc... If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us. You deserved nothing but the BEST....
ReplyDelete